[Mhiz Rebecca]

It is one thing to be a girlfriend and another to
be a wife. Being a wife is a lifetime
commitment to be everything to that
significant other.
The usual trend is that before being a wife, you
care about how you look around your
boyfriend, what he says he likes and what he
doesn’t, how he likes to see you without
makeup and all but after he put a ring on it,
most women just tend to let everything go.
They become unconscious of the “till death do
you part”, and are overwhelmed with the
union called marriage.
Sustaining a marriage is a no-retirement job
and requires a lot of learning, sacrifices and
compromises. So how do you keep it working?
Here are 15 tips on how to be a better wife to
sustain your marriage
1) I freshen up my makeup before he comes
home.
2) Be very conscious not to say harsh, mean
comments to him. Even in the heat of the
moment. Damaging his self-esteem has no
place in our marriage and I expect the same in
return.
3) Be also conscious not to say mean things
about him to other people. Especially friends.
Girlfriends have a tendency to vent about their
boyfriends, and then feel conflicted when their
friends then hate their boyfriends. More than
that, it’s a matter of respect.
4) Always put on a united front when it comes
to your son. No undermining, no badmouthing
each other, no questioning the other’s
authority, etc. I took this example from the
Huxtables. I’m not even kidding.
5) learn to accept his faults rather than dwell
on them. There’s an interesting shift that
happens when you realize that a situation isn’t
going to change: you change the way you deal
with the situation — proactively and logically.
For me, that’s marriage. Quickly finding a
solution instead of bitching and nagging. Or
maybe that’s just growing up. Regardless, this
has been a game changer for me.
6) Save your pretty dresses for when he’s home
on the weekends. Not to impress him, but
because you want to feel pretty around him.
Looking good makes me feel good, which
makes me a happier person to be with.
7) Always make sure he’s heard. Maybe it’s
because we’re young, or maybe it’s just the
personalities in my family, or maybe it’s just
the realities of being a parent, but people
haven’t been shy about voicing their opinions
— whether it’s what kind of diapers you use or
where you spend holidays. But it’s important
that your loyalty is to your husband over your
other family members and to remember that
you are a partnership inside of the village-like
team that’s taken to help us out. His voice
needs to have just as much weight as my own.
Period.
8) We have separate identities, separate
interests, and separate opinions. I never want
either of us to lose ourselves in the other, or to
invest all of our happiness in each other. My
happiness is entirely up to me.
9) I stopped expecting things from him. I
stopped expecting him to pick up his
godforsaken clothes off the floor when the
hamper is four steps to the left. I stopped
expecting him to compliment me on my
housework efforts. I stopped expecting him to
split all of the chores and parenting
responsibilities 50-50 down the middle. I do
things for myself.
10) I finally accepted that just because he
doesn’t do things the way I want them done, or
at the exact moment I want them done, it
doesn’t mean he doesn’t do them well. This has
been a huge thing for me to learn and accept,
and it’s still an ongoing effort on my part.
11) Always buy prettier things to wear to bed.
12) He has strengths and I have strengths — in
parenting as well as marriage — and just
because they’re not the same doesn’t make
them any less valid.
13) I’ve been recognizing my faults and
working hard to be a better person — not just
as a wife, or as a mother, but as a person. They
mostly center on my control and stress issues,
so I’m making a genuine effort — and that’s
the best I can do.
14) I don’t care how much work I have to do, I
can always spare time for some trashy Bravo
with him. Always and forever. (Alone time in
general is a top priority.)
15) Be kind: Of course I’m not a perfect wife or
a perfect person. Some of these are works in
progress, goals that I strive toward. But I’m
trying. And even though marriage requires
more of a conscious effort than I ever
imagined, I think it ultimately can result in a
healthier relationship and a healthier self. At
least I’m hoping.
Be kind: Of course I’m not a perfect wife or a
perfect person. Some of these are works in
progress, goals that I strive toward. But I’m
trying. And even though marriage requires
more of a conscious effort than I ever
imagined, I think it ultimately can result in a
healthier relationship and a healthier self. At
least I’m hoping.